7 Tips for Dads Dealing with Divorce – Guest Post
For dads dealing with divorce, it is worth accepting that a divorce process is almost always a very difficult process for both parties to go through. Yet, in cases where the couple have children together, the dad is often rather overlooked and no one seems concerned that the process is difficult for him too.
Are you one of those dads dealing with divorce and not you are sure of your rights and responsibilities? Here are the 7 Top Tips to help you cope and make smart decisions:
Remain in the Family Home
For dads dealing with divorce, one of the most common mistakes they make is leaving the family home. Although leaving and finding alternative accommodation may seem like the best thing to do in terms of ensuring minimal conflict, yet it can often work against them later down the line. If the Dad does leave the home, the Mum then has practical custody, which could give them the upper hand later on in the proceedings. A more practical and beneficial alternative would be for the Dad to stay in the home, but sleeping in a different room to reduce the chances of arguments.
Focus on Good Behaviour
Remaining well behaved and cool-headed throughout the entire process is another essential piece to the puzzle, particularly as your ex-partner is likely to use whatever they can against you. This can include a whole range of things, including minimal alcohol, no drugs, keep on top of your finances, avoid confrontation and be a respectable individual. However, almost most importantly, you should ensure that you refrain from any abuse towards your ex-partner, including emotional, physical and sexual. You should look to put yourself in the best position possible so that you can come out of the proceedings in a positive way, looking to preserve both your finances and your reputation.
Keep Records of Events
Dads dealing with divorce need to keep records of anything that happens. By recording threats, insults, spending habits, expenses and any money that you give to your ex-partner or your children, you can display that you have been acting in the correct manner, whilst your ex-partner may not have been. This allows you to counteract a legal system that is considered to be more favourable to women, again giving you the best chance possible of achieving everything that you want to.
Get the right Help
There are two separate elements to this point. Firstly, finding the right legal support is key to achieving the best results during the divorce proceedings, and the legal sector is widely thought to be very much a ‘you get what you pay for’ industry, and so you should take this into consideration. Aside from this, keeping yourself in check should be a high priority for you, and so looking for the right help in the form of life coaches, professional help and support from family and friends, providing you with the ability to keep a healthy mind.
Look after Yourself Physically and Mentally
As divorce proceedings can be very stressful and hectic, Dads will often forget to look after themselves, and failure to do so could severely affect the outcome of the divorce. A good diet and an exercise regime would benefit you physically, but it also gives you something else to focus on and helps you to keep your mind clear. A positive mind will almost certainly achieve positive results.
Keep in Constant Contact with your Children
Something that you should keep in your mind at all times is that you are getting a divorce from your ex-partner, and not from your children. Dads tend to make the mistake of losing touch with their children during their divorce, whereas they should use it as a chance to make a big push towards spending time with your children. How your children view you and how they see that you have acted throughout the process could be the deciding factor in proceedings, particularly if their opinion is to be heavily considered as part of the result. By making the effort to be there for them and to remain as the Dad that they know and love, you could improve your chances of gaining a positive outcome.
Be the Best Dad that you can possibly be
Being a Dad is a big, big responsibility as you have a duty of care and love to your children, but this doesn’t mean that you have to do things in a certain way. Each and every Dad is different, with different ways of handling and dealing with situations, yet as long as you make the effort, try your best, and love and care for your children, you are their Dad. Providing that you are doing everything within your power to be the best Dad that you can be, no opinion in the world should be an issue to you. You will make mistakes, but doesn’t everybody?
About the Author
Karim Assaad is a partner within the Family department at Fletcher Day, with many years of knowledge and experience in representing both men and women in family law cases.
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