Fatigue after divorce is a very common ailment but you don’t have to accept it
Apparently, fatigue after divorce is a very common thing. Many, many people suffer from fatigue after divorce; and depression and anxiety too. Some of them get it really bad and it stays with them, sometimes for years afterwards, and is a serious health crisis. Heck, even your children and pets can pick up on this syndrome and fall victim to it after your divorce. That is, fatigue seems to be catching.
The thing is, fatigue after divorce while common, can be totally avoided. It is a question of anticipating that this could be a problem and taking pre-emptive measures to avoid it completely or manage it effectively if it does occur, so that it does not last too long.
Divorce is a big stress in people’s lives. Even when it is uncontested. It is a sea change. Things are going to be different in a big way. Think about it: You may have to change your name, where you live, where the kids go to school, the size of your house. You may have to change how you even think about your very identity because where once there were two, now there is only one. You are no longer a part of a whole. You are the whole and it can be disorienting to say the least.
But the combat of divorce can really take a toll. So that it is the actual process itself that wears you out and leaves you feeling like you cannot get out of bed, or lift your arm even. You become overwhelmed by even the simplest of tasks, like calling your mother to say happy birthday.
KEEP A JOURNAL
During the process of divorce, it is imperative that you begin to think about your life after divorce so that you can minimize the risk of developing fatigue after divorce. Keep mental clarity most of all. You need clarity. Write things down in a disposable journal and be honest with how you are feeling: rageful, disappointed, afraid, jealous. Whatever the emotions you feel, it is your true state of mind at the moment and you have to give yourself permission to work through these emotions and get to a place of mental and emotional equilibrium, wellness and wellbeing. It’s okay. You are ok. These feelings will pass, don’t worry.
So keep a journal and vent in it big time. Do not hold back and pretend all is great when it is not. This alone will take a moderlode of stress off you and with less stress comes less fatigue.
GET A LOT OF REST & EXERCISE BUT IN THE RIGHT PROPORTIONS
The other thing is that you have to get the right amount of rest and exercise during the divorce process and after. You can’t become a gym rat during your divorce when you are not used to exercising that much but you also can’t let yourself become a couch potato. You have to get regular workouts. You need to lift weights as well. This is paramount. No one is saying become a body builder, but your muscles will atrophy if you don’t use them and then you will just feel sluggish and tired. But again, don’t overdo it. You also need to rest, i.e. sit and do nothing. Not even “think.”
You need a good, healthy balance of both these elements during the divorce process and after, to avoid after divorce fatigue. Sleep a lot too. Take little naps during the day when possible. Of course, one of the symptoms of chronic fatigue is sleeplessness itself. So it is a catch 22 to say get a lot of sleep when you can’t sleep. You need to discuss this with medical professionals as soon as you suspect you have even a minor problem before it balloons into something bigger. But sleeping is easy if you just let yourself do it. Just let yourself. Just…sleep. Like a baby………….soft, and gentle, and sweet….
TAKE A GOOD NUTRITIONAL SUPPLEMENT
Even without the stress of divorce, especially for women over a certain age, some people are prone to developing issues with fatigue. But if you add divorce to the cocktail, it can just become insupportable. So you have to really spend time each day consciously thinking about your nutrition; and since divorce, and maybe right after, may be intervals in your life where eating right is not a huge priority (and it really should be especially at times like these which is the whole paradox) then you better up your nutritional ante by taking supplements. You especially need things like Magnesium, Omega 3, Vitamin D and the B vitamins as these reportedly are good for combatting fatigue. Of course, you need to discuss this with your physician and nutritionist to make sure you don’t overdose on anything. But yea. Get some supplements to help keep after divorce fatigue in check.
KEEP BUSY DURING THE DAY
This may be counterintuitive because if you are fatigued you don’t want to do anything but lie down and rest all the time. Resist. You don’t have to go a thousand miles an hour but you have to make yourself keep going, knowing that at some point, you will get to your destination and not indulging your mind which just wants to give up. You can do it. You can get there. You will do it. You will get there. Just put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Busy could simply mean doing housework, or writing on your blog. It does not have to mean running errands cross town and flying coast to coasts several time per week. The idea is not to give to this feeling of incapacity that fatigue brings on. The idea is to fight to feel normal again. You deserve to feel normal again. And you will.
PRAY FOR STRENGTH
A lot of people don’t believe in prayer, which is too bad, because when you believe in it, it can really transform your life. It is the meditative aspect no doubt. Anything you keep repeating to yourself (and with prayer, let’s face it, you could probably be talking to yourself as there could possibly be nothing there after all! – the horror!) eventually manifests. Some quicker than others. But it does manifest eventually, so long as you hold it in your mind long enough and so long as you really believe it will happen. So pray for strength every single day. Pray for normalcy, to feel normal again. Keep repeating to yourself “I am strong. I am bursting with energy and vitality.” Ask the universe to support you in this ideal. Keep asking and don’t accept no for an answer. You will gain your strength back if you keep and persist at this. If necessary, seek spiritual healers and persons to talk with and commune with about this issue. Make sure they are authentic and not quacks.
So these are just a few tips you can try to incorporate into your routine to avoid or minimise fatigue after divorce. Best of luck in restoring yourself to feeling strong, well and happy. And look out for the kids and the pets. They may be suffering but you are so overwhelmed with your own situation, you are oblivious. Make sure they get the care they need as well.
More on divorce health related topics here.