Want to Increase Your Risk of Divorce? Renew Your Wedding Vows. Seriously.

Want to renew your wedding vows? Proceed with caution. Studies show that couples who renew their wedding vows tend to end up getting divorced within a couple of years after the vows renewal. And it not just celebrity couples like Heidi Klum and Seal and Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. See the full slideshow at pagesix. It is regular folks as well. It seems that renewing your wedding vows can be a curse actually.

Ask yourself: Why do you even feel the need to renew your wedding vows? If you already took the vows why do you feel they need to be renewed? Didn’t you mean what you said and say what you meant the first time around? If yes, why do you think you need to renew what you said and meant already if you are happily married? If you are happy, then what you are essentially doing is fixing something that is not broke. This is bad luck. If it ain’t broke, don’t try to fix it! On the other hand, if it is already broken, no amount of vows renewal (Seal and Heidi renewed nearly 6 times only to end up divorced one year after the last renewal) will change the fact that the marriage is over. You are  only prolonging the agony.

Presumably, one of the reasons you are thinking you want to renew your wedding vows is you are using this renewal as a sort of marriage counseling or couples therapy. This is a mistake. The renewal could be part of a larger strategy but it can’t be the strategy. It takes how long to renew your wedding vows? 1 hour? Do you really believe that taking one hour to renew your wedding vows will fix what is ailing a marriage that probably has been diseased for several years? You need real therapy and counseling work that is deep and gruesome and focused in order to do that and sometimes even that is not enough. Plus, in a lot of cases, the focus of the renewing of vows is on the superficial stuff like the dress, cake and location of the party. It is not on the deep work that needs to happen to flesh out what ails your relationship.

Sure, have your big party, but understand it is a pre divorce party in a lot of cases and you are only wasting time and money with this approach. Instead, if you are serious about saving your marriage, invest in some therapy or counseling and eschew this renew your wedding vows thing because in most cases, it is pure nonsense.

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