Like Mother Like Daughter: Are You More Likely to Divorce if your mother was a divorcée?

Are you more likely to divorce if your mother also experienced the break down of her marriage?

I think this is an excellent question “are you more likely to divorce if your mother also experienced divorce” and I am not sure that there are stats out there on this specific question – although I am certain there must be some.

My hunch? Probably yes. You are more likely to divorce if your mother is a divorcée. Especially daughters. Although this could also have an impact on the psyche of sons as well. The fact is that females are more likely to imitate their mothers and males are more likely to imitate their fathers. There are exceptions, of course. But for the most part, girls become their mothers eventually and there are interesting and undeniable parallels in the types of life choices we make as mothers and daughters.

That is not to say it is true all the time that if your mother divorced that you will also divorce. Your mother’s divorce could actually make you more determined not to follow in her footsteps. And for some generation of women, like pre-baby boom, they did not even believe in divorce so whereas the mother stayed married (even if she was miserable as heck) all her life, her daughter could be less inclined to put up with marital misery.

But as a general rule, I think that having parents who divorced and more specifically being the daughter of a mother who is divorced, could predispose you to getting divorced yourself.

I guess it could be the example that is set for you. If your mother stayed married and is a firm believer in marriage being for better or for worse, and this is all you know and this has been drilled into you since you were a little girl, then more than likely, you will have strong misgivings about divorce and will probably do everything possible to save your marriage (even if it means being in a situation that is less than blissful).

On the other hand, if your mother was more blasé about marriage, and if she was the divorcing type, then you won’t have this stigma attached to divorce like you might have if she were the opposite.

It is like a circle, really. It is circular. But the good thing is, if you are the daughter of a mother who is a divorcing type and you don’t want to follow in her footsteps, you don’t have to. By all means you can break the cycle. You can decide that you are going to be different from your mom. It doesn’t mean your mother is a bad person. But where divorce is concerned, you can just decide that the buck stops with you.

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