On Being a Pro at Fucking up Your Relationships Like Gwyneth Paltrow – by Kate Nguyenn

ON BEING A PRO AT FUCKING UP YOUR RELATIONSHIPS INCLUDING YOUR MARRIAGE

Sorry for the “F” bomb. 🙂 But are you that person? The one who is a pro at fucking up your relationships including your marriage? And if so, why? What exactly is the matter with you?

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow recently said that she had “fucked up so many relationships” in your past. She said she’s good at other types of relationships like a mother/daughter, sister, girlfriend, etc. But she is basically a fucker upper of romantic relationships and she admitted that she is learning how to be a better girlfriend, lover and wife.

So I jumped at the chance to talk about that in the context of marriage and divorce. Because I don’t think that Gwyneth is the only one. By the time most people hit 25, the average person has fucked up at least eight relationships, I am thinking.

Why do we do it? What makes us just ruin perfectly good romantic liaisons like that?

Feeling undeserving?

Fear of the unknown?

Boredom?

Self-sabotage & self loathing?

Insecurity?

 

What is the reason that we invariably take action that immediately destroys our perfectly good relationships like that and how can we stop it? Obviously, some of us need a lot of professional therapy.  But all the therapy in the world will not change the demons within if we are not willing to work on our issues. Because our relationships can’t fix us. We have to fix ourselves and come to our relationships already fine-tuned.

And that is a big mistake I think a lot of us make. Is that, we have all these issues which we bring into the relationship and we honestly and unrealistically expect the other person to fix us, as sort of this way of proving they love us. It is a very selfish and destructive thing to do, to burden the other person with our issues like that.

And I think that is the key to not fucking up your relationships. It is to understand fundamentally that it is not the other person’s job and responsibility to fix us or to make us happy or make us whole or things like that. We have to do that work on ourselves and come to the relationship already whole.

That’s the key, I think. Do you agree?

 

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