I don’t even know where to begin. I am sobbing so hard, I can’t even see this keyboard all that great. I am so sad, I am so sad. Especially for my little boy. I never imagined a scenario that I would be raising him as a single mother. I thought Chris and me would have made it through somehow.
We made so many promises to each other since that day in Bali when we looked into each other’s eyes and said yes. And I just…I just…I can’t believe….he says there is nobody else. I am trying really hard to believe that. I hear all the rumors. I am not stupid. I am not stupid. I know how these things go and it was making me totally paranoid and….he says it’s not true. He says he is not having a relationship with that woman.
….maybe its just me. Maybe I am not cut out for marriage. Is that it? Am I the problem in my marriages? Am I to blame that both my marriages cracked up or is it the fans? Is it the fame?
On a certain level I really just think that fame kinda sucks. But is it the fame or is it me or what? I don’t understand. I just don’t understand. I did everything I could. I tried hard, really hard to make this work, to be everything for him and more and still…..
I think that f”&cking bitch is sleeping with my husband! And not the one you think. The other one. The one who thinks she is a celebrity. She is no celebrity! She is a man thief! That’s what she is!
…I have to pull myself together for my son’s sake, I know. This is hard but you know what? Better to be alone and have self respect than be with someone who doesn’t have my back. So good riddance. I will just put on my high heels and find another husband. Like that.