On Pinpointing the Exact Moment When Your Divorce Began, by Kate Nguyen

when divorce began

Can People Pinpoint the Exact Moment When Their Divorce Began?

 

Do you think most people can pinpoint exactly when their divorce started? If you ask this question, I bet they will start at the moment they decided to contact their divorce lawyer. But this is, in my opinion, the end of the journey – or close to the end of the journey. By the time most people call their divorce lawyer, their divorce had already begun years before.

But is it a moment? Or a series of moments that begins the beginning of a divorce and how can you know? This is the question I have for people who have actually gotten divorced. When did your divorce actually begin? Do you remember the moment? Is it a palpable moment or is it imperceptible?

I think it is a moment. And sometimes, I would wager that that moment began before the marriage took place. For some couples. Other couples, it obviously began after but for a disturbing lot of people, the beginning was prior to the nuptials.

It could have seemed harmless or it could have been dramatic. Just a moment. A second that you chose to ignore, sometimes for decades, like: a glance at another woman. Or an insult during a simple dispute. Or a rude reaction to a waiter. Or yelling at a kid. Or a slap, push or choke. Or an opinion.

The moment could have been the omission of an act as well. Not doing something can be just as telling as doing something.

Or it could have resulted from a series of similar moments but there is still going to be a beginning. The very first moment when a divorce begins. Nobody ever thinks about that.

This is a mistake, I think. If people thought about these moments, fewer divorces would probably happen because maybe the choice not to marry in the first places might be taken; or if a marriage has already occurred and more people recognized that moment then maybe they could do something about it. It’s like a “stitch in time saves nine.” If people were able to recognize that dangerous first moment when their marriages slip or slide in the wrong direction, they could take more corrective actions and more corrective measures to save their marriages from divorce.

What do you think about this? Is this a smart thought or am I a bleeping genius or what?

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Author: Kate Nguyen

Hi, My name is Kate and I am a typical twenty-something fresh out of college aspiring journalist and now I am a contributing blogger for Divorce Saloon. I am single, childless and penniless but I do have a cat named Tess and an "older" boyfriend who is divorced with a couple of kids. So I get a lot of material from all those sources. I live in Queens, New York and my family is originally from Vietnam.

2 thoughts on “On Pinpointing the Exact Moment When Your Divorce Began, by Kate Nguyen”

    1. Thanks for your comment….hints can be misleading, huh? I guess you are right. Not everything means its the end of the world. But I still think there is a specific moment when the slide begins.

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