Divorce Diary of Mel B

If you find this divorce diary please return it to Mel B
Divorce Diary of Mel B

Divorce Diary are you there? Lord a mercy. Lord. Have. Is. Thou. Mercy! I am in a soup! How did I get into this PR soup of a nasty divorce such as this?? My dear, dear divorce diary, Stephen, my husband of a decade, and I, are calling it quits. And not a moment too soon. The marriage has been over for some time and we both knew it. But getting to the point that I publicly aired all the dirty laundry? This has been something else. The media coverage is brutal. Stephen and I sound like a bunch of lowlifes and it is too bad because we are not as bad as that. Is it my fault? Should I not have mentioned the threesomes and what not?

Well, he did force me to sleep with other women. This is my truth and I put it in the divorce papers so, I ask you this divorce diary: What do you want me to do? A retraction? is that what you want, divorce diary? A bloody retraction? Because you can't get one. It is what it is.

I am not going to pay through the nose to get rid of this guy. I cut him off from my bank accounts and I read in the gossip papers that he went crying to his ex. I don't care. I can't finance his lifestyle he needs to get a job and stop mooching off of me. I supported him for ten years and I think that is well above and beyond any call of duty.

Now I hear he wants joint custody of Angel. This, dear diary, is where the rubber hits the road. He is not Angel's father. I can understand with Madison but not Angel. I am going to fight him on that. He cannot have joint custody of my daughter. He did not adopt my daughter.

I have already put the house of up for sale and I am looking for a good buyer so I can pay him off and then I am getting a nicer place. I got a movie deal and, you know, in a way the publicity is good for my career. I get more attention and more people are calling. I just have to be gorgeous everytime I leave the house, right divorce diary? Any publicity is good publicity. I have to be gorgeous and that is not hard because I already lost 30 pounds since this whole thing began.

Can you imagine he wants Angel? Is this man insane?

I can tell you this much: This is the last time I marry a man who is demonstrably more good looking than me. That I can tell you.

Image credit

By Kristen Weng for Divorce Saloon (this is a fictitious entry)

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