Divorce Diary of Jennifer Garner

Dear Divorce Diary

I am a smoldering hot Hollywood actress with 3 young kids. Ok? And everybody knows it. So, if you have any questions about why I chose to forgive my husband and take him back into my home and bed, I just told you why. Because I am smoldering and I have 3 kids. OK?

I mean, what did you want me to do? Trade him in for what? George Clooney? In case you haven't heard he is deeply, madly in love with some barrister Lebanese woman he met in UK and they are having twins. The last thing he is going to look at is my smoldering hot such and such, especially with 3 kids by another man. Okay?

And my man, let's face it, is hot. He is hotter than George. Hotter than Brad. Hotter than....well Denzel is not my type but if he were, Ben is hotter than Denzel. OK?

Now. My dear divorce diary. Am I upset about a lot of things that have gone on in my marriage? Are you kiddin' me? Is that a joke? Is that a trick question? Of course I am upset. I was very upset. But we are working on our issues. My husband had a drinking problem. Well, look, he has a lot of different things he is dealing with, OK? He is not perfect. But am I perfect? Well, as I said, I am smoldering hot. And that means I am darn nearly perfect actually. I can't think of a fault.

But with that said, I have my 3 kids. Ben is a good father and he loves his kids and they need their father and I am not keen on this idea of getting a new father for my kids. Where am I going to find somebody who is going to father my kids and replace my husband? There is nothing out there! All that will happen is he gets a younger, hotter woman. Well actually, nobody is hotter than me. But I am just saying. I trade him in but for what?? I am asking you divorce diary. I mean, look at what's out there! So I changed my mind, ok? So sue me.

by Kristen Weng

(this is a work of fiction)

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