On When Your Spouse Uses His Gun to Intimidate You, by Kate Nguyen

Guns, Domestic Violence & Divorce

My boyfriend has a gun. Actually he has a lot of guns. I think he single handedly keeps Smith & Wesson in business, actually. He hunts a lot and he also has other types of guns and he almost always travels with a concealed gun in his pants.

I don’t ever go near the guns. I have no interest in guns. But I was reading somewhere, it could have been on Family Law Blog this post about this woman whose cop partner used his gun to keep her in check. When she finally escaped the relationship, she took the gun. It was a post about guns and domestic violence. And it made me think of writing a post about how people (men in particular) use guns to intimidate their partners. In the article the woman said that her partner told her that he knew exactly how to shoot her to make her paralyzed.

And you just think “Jesus Christ.”

Obviously, in America, gun ownership is a constitutionally protected right and so you can’t easily stop someone from owning a gun. And the thing is that most gun owners are responsible, sane and reasonable people who are not going to use their guns to intimidate their wives and spouses. But the thing is, like the woman in the article, she said it did not start out that way. He didn’t always used to threaten her like that. Maybe even for years into the relationship. And then, one time, he did. After the first time, it was just open season.

I don’t think my boyfriend would ever threaten me with his gun but I have to be truthful and say that it is always something I keep in the back of my mind and I am very careful about a lot of things because I don’t ever want this to become a situation in my own personal life.

For those people who are in a situation where guns are being used to intimidate them in their relationships and marriages, all I can say is “get out of there, like, last night.” Seriously, run don’t walk. This will not end well. The minute a person takes a gun and presses it to your head (and does not pull the trigger) you have been put on notice that your time is running out on the face of this Earth and you need to get the hell out of there. Don’t even take your clothes and possessions. At first light, when it seems that things have settled back, leave. And I do mean disappear. Because people like this will track you down. And will kill you because you dared to leave them.

Leave.

Disappear.

It will save your life.

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