When I was a young woman of twenty-three, I had an affair with a married man.
First of all, I really don’t know what I was thinking. Actually, I wasn’t thinking. I had met him during a conference and at first I thought he was single because he was not wearing a wedding band and there was no ring mark on the finger.
He smelled amazing.
And he was by far the most dynamic, charismatic and interesting man in the room.
He invited me to a soirée at the house shortly after our first meeting and so I cannot say I did not know there was a wife because I actually met her long before I took off my panties.
I think initially, after getting past the attraction (I thought) I saw him as a business colleague and then as a buddy/friend.
How did we go from that to me taking off my underwear? Well, months elapsed after we first met and he had all these problems, including marital ones that he kept confiding to me. I kept trying to solve the problems for him and the more I tried to do that, is the more reeled in I became, like a fish on a hook.
In retrospect, I think his problems were really not as bad as he made them out to be. He was just reeling me in.
Did I enjoyed being reeled in? Honestly, yes, I think so. This is a guy who would pick me up on a Sunday morning to go out to Southhampton Long Island for breakfast. Or he would take me to lunch at one of his exclusive clubs in Manhattan. He even took me on a business trip to San Francisco – all expenses paid. All the while we are either talking about his business ambitions or his marital troubles. In between, he laid it on pretty thick that he thought I was a hottie.
It was flattering and intoxicating.
Eventually, that led to where it led where I removed the panties.
Boy, what an error in judgment that turned out to be. First of all, I never reached a climax in his arms. On the contrary. It was unlike anything my body had ever experienced. I remember once telling him that his being married got in the way of my orgasm. And it was true. I was not able to remove his wife from my mind for the life of me. I kept thinking “what if this were my husband? How would I like it if someone did this to me?”
Well, guess what? Years later, I got to experience exactly how it felt to be on the other side of the equation when my husband of 2 years cheated on me. It definitely was no fun.
In the end, my fling with a married man was an interesting aspect of my personal history but not one that I am proud of. So for me the biggest lesson I learned is that I should only create the types of histories for myself, of which, looking back, I can be proud.
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