A recent study from the University of California at Santa Barbara suggests that being single could actually make some people happier than being in a couple. By extension, getting divorced and being by yourself – at least for a little bit – could very well be the solution to your “unhappiness.”
It is not a one size fits all argument. But it seems to be definitely true in some cases. The age old wisdom that some people are better off alone still holds true. Many single are living and experiencing more fulfilling lives than married people. Are you one of them? Those married people who are unhappy and feeling unfulfilled?
The Guardian, a UK newspaper discussed this issue and the study done at UC. The author wrote in part:
In work presented at the American Psychological Association’s 124th annual conference, Bella dePaulo suggests that single people may have more fulfilling social lives and experience greater psychological growth than some married people. She sifted through 814 studies and found data that showed that single people are more connected with family and friends, whereas marriage tends to make two people insular. She also found that the more self-sufficient single people were, the less likely they were to experience negative emotions. But with married people, greater self-sufficiency actually seemed tied to stress and difficulty.
It seems that marriage can encourage emotional and financial dependence to the detriment of the person who is dependent. Being single encourages independence and exercise of choice.
Again, singledom is not for everyone. This is not a post that is meant to encourage anyone to run out and get a divorce. But it is to say that if you happen to be in a divorcing situation and you are scared of being single, maybe you need to rethink that fear because being alone for a little bit is not really all that bad. It could be the best thing you could do for your psychological health.
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- Should the length of a marriage determine the “success” of it?
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- Is divorce tougher on boys?
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