FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Operation Save America’s Marriages!
The editors of Divorce Saloon International have figured out a way to reduce the divorce rate by 30 percent. With this viral hurricane strength frenzy that was created with the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge it got us to thinking about how about an ice bucket challenge for married couples who have been married between 3-7 years could stem the divorce rate in America (and probably also around the world)? Why this time frame? Because this is when the divorce itch starts to, well, itch and when a lot of divorces happen in America and frankly around the world.
We think saving marriages and keeping families in tact is a great social goal. Our proposal? With the DSI Ice Bucket Challenge (“DSI” stands for Divorce Saloon International), couples should be challenged to take one dousing of icy water per year every year after their third year of marriage. They should do this instead of the corny “renewing of vows” that has failed so spectacularly for so many couples. No, instead, lets invite all married couples to take a shot of ice-cold water all over their head whether they are having marriage trouble or not.
Our hunch is that an ice bucket on the head will jolt them back to their senses and make couples realize that what they already have in their relationships and marriages is better than what is out there. If they refuse the challenge, they should be forced to pay legal fees for their spouse for any divorce that happens within two years of the challenge
The whole point of this challenge is to remind folks that what they already have is usually as good as it gets. So it is a reminder for them that they might as well keep working on your marriage to make it better rather than take the easy way out and get a divorce no matter how “consciously uncouplingly” you do it. (This is a shout out to folks like Gwyneth Paltrow who took the ALS Challenge. How about a jolt of cold water to the head to save your marriage, Gwyneth? And you know we say this with love because we want you to get back with Cris.)
Actually, an icy jolt is probably what more people need in this country and in this world to remind them of what is important in life. An annual dousing of cold water all over their freakin heads is really what the doctor ordered for saving marriages in the digital age. A DSI ice bucket challenge will reduce the divorce rate by at least 30 percent.
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