Needless to say, a mother in law from hell can destroy your marriage in a New York minute. And frankly, that is the whole point. That is what she is trying to do; that is what she wants to see – that your marriage implodes. Why? Who the heck knows. She is jealous about something. Maybe she raised her boy as a single mother and really struggled with him financially and in other ways and it burns her to see somebody else – some perfect stranger, an interloper – reap the benefits. Oh, but wait. It could be the other way around. You could be the husband with a mother in law from hell.
She pulls a lot of stunts, this one, and from day one, you were probably up to her. The question is, why did you marry her child in the first place? Couldn’t you see she was trouble? The trouble with mothers in law from hell is not really her, it’s her boy. He really doesn’t seem to be able to keep his mother in line. Half the time, when you complain, he tries to make as if you are the one with the problem: you are too sensitive; you don’t understand his mother and his family dynamics; you are hard to get along with; you are outright lying on his innocent mother. Because she hardly ever does anything overt. If you are the husband who is having trouble, the wife can usually see that her mother is a problem, but she too is no match for this human bulldozer who basically crushes everything in her path. Furthermore, this character is oft times passive aggressive and your beleaguered spouse can’t see her for what she is doing to your marriage – or as noted, is powerless to stop it.
How do you deal with this situation? It really depends on the degree of support you are getting or are not getting from your husband or wife. If you are fighting this person alone because our significant other does not support you in this situation – for whatever reason – you may have no choice but to cut and run. Yes, Virginia, divorce seems extreme but more often that not, it ultimately is the only resolution to a situation such as this.
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