DIVORCE SALOON DIVORCE HOROSCOPES 2013
Divorced or divorcing Capricorns will experience extreme stress in 2013; that’s just a given. As if divorce is not sufficiently stressful there will be the added issues of money shortages, unexpected pregnancies and undesired long distance travel. Added to that, the ex is having a tough time with the whole situation, aka, the divorce and as a result is giving you huge migraines with a lot of unreasonable behavior and demands with regard to the children and other matters. What can you do to alleviate the psychological and physical drain it all is? Just go with it. No point trying to force things to go your way; it is futile right now. Just remember that this year, too, shall pass.
There is only one word to describe your life right now: APOCALYPSE. But in a sort of good way – if you play your cards right. You are literally having a jubilant year in part because you have been publicly vindicated with regard to some divorce sludge that your ex had flung into your face. Yes, Aries, all that evil has been laid to waste by some wholly unexpected and unforeseen events. It was actually kind of sad the way your ex so spectacularly self-imploded and now all those people who judged you so wrongly are getting their due. The only advice is: keep a sense of proportion. And yes, it is true; happiness is the best revenge.
You are finally starting to get your energy levels and exuberance levels back to normal after a tumultuous last few months that left you looking and feeling lackluster and barely able to get out of bed. This is good. You are now entering the phase of acceptance: You are a single person now and the world does not have to end because of it. Life goes on even if there is not “ring on it.” Look, there are a lot of things you need to do. For one thing you need to move to a new home. 2013 is the year of the move. It is a big one. The thought of all that work and chaos weigh heavily on your mind. Don’t let it. This is a great opportunity that will literally open new doors that lead to interesting new places.
You have always had a uniquely off-beat approach to life and so did your ex. But just because you are no longer married doesn’t mean you should change your natural ways and inclinations. Indeed, now that you are single you can really use your creative mind and slightly wild imagination to cook up a whole new recipe for a whole new life. First of all you wanted to travel much more than your ex was able to. Places like Vietnam, Mozambique and even Antarctica have been on your bucket list. Now is the time. You are free to explore these places, and more. Call your travel agent today. 2013 will find you taking a voyage you will never forget.
Poor Cancerians are having a tough time feeling happy since their divorce. Why? It is difficult to assess. But the gods are trying to communicate with Cancer through close friends neighbors and even old lovers: THINGS ARE GOING TO GET BETTER! You hear that Cancerians? You just have to hang tight and weather this storm which is on its way out to sea. Why don’t you actively try to change jobs? Your job is really a much bigger problem than your ex but you are so blinded by your overwhelming sense of loss over the relationship, you don’t realize there are other more serious threats to your peace and equilibrium lurking beneath the surface. Get a new job. This is the first step to a great transformation –psychological, social and financial – that awaits you.
Leo is definitely in a soup this year. It is almost ridiculous and way too much for you to handle: The divorce; the care of your aging/terminally ill parents a situation seriously worsened by the deteriorating relationship with the administration of the retirement home; the out of control teenager who you suspect may be taking illicit and illegal drugs; the home that is about to go into foreclosure if something doesn’t give; and the very last straw is the results of your own last annual check-up. It really is all too much. Is there any good news? Yes. Absolutely. It is called 2014. 2014 will be a 180 degree change form 2013. There is even a possible re-marriage (no, not to the ex) in the forecast for you.
Virgo, you feel cold. Your divorce and post-divorce circumstances makes you feel cold. But of all the signs of the Zodiac this year, Virgo you should feel the warmest. Because there is so much love and warmth that is coming to you this year it is actually a little bit unfair. It’s like Venus stormed your life and is pouring all this love on you from every direction. The problem is, you can’t seem to see it. You are locked in a cycle of self-pity and regrets and so you are missing all the cues.
Liibra, your divorce situation was and is extremely disputatious. Yours was definitely not a divorce by mutual consent, was it? In fact your divorce was infamous in your community. Everybody was talking about it. The bad news is, there are still some explosive stuff ahead that you need to brace yourself for. The good news is, you will enjoy a major victory. In the short run, though, if you can’t run, duck.
You really should try to re-negotiate your divorce because what you received in your settlement is glorified crap. And everybody, even the judge, knows it. Your spouse has stockpiled a huge sum of money in plain sight but you can’t see it. Take a second and third look at the tax returns and the stock reports. You and your attorney (maybe a new one?) need to wake up and smell the coffee and move to re-open the divorce before it is time barred.
Sag, nobody wants to burst your bubble but it is unclear if your post-divorce rebound with your high school sweetheart is a good idea. Sure it takes your mind off your failed marriage – for now. But you are about to ruin what could be a beautiful, platonic and life-long friendship. Quit while you’re ahead, Sag. Put an ad on Match.com instead. It’s better.
So you are searching for a post-divorce support group in 2013 even though your divorce was finalized a couple of years ago. It’s fine. There are a lot of people in exactly the same boat who take a little longer to feel whole again. That is why divorce retreats are becoming so popular. You should find one and go. If you can wait, Divorce Saloon is organizing a divorce retreat for August 2013. It will take place in Paris. We will post iinformatioin about it in the coming months so check back the blog often for updates. But there are others as well and you should do your research to see which one is right for you. It will likely be psychologically uplifting and who knows who you will meet there.
Dear Pisces. What is wrong with you? You have been trying to forget your divorce by over indulging in booze, sex and for some of you, illicit drugs. Hopefully, as the new year gets underway, you are beginning to realize the futility of this approach. If you don’t get yourself together, and fast, guess what? It is not even a question of who will get custody or if you will only get supervised visitation. It is a question of whether you will have any contact WHATSOEVER with those kids. How is that for an incentive to stop this destructive behavior and pull yourself together once and for all? Hme?
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