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Is your spouse “evil”?
Well, what made me think of this post? hahahahaha. (If you only knew how sad I have been; I am only laughing now because, as they say, you can’t keep a good woman down….. At least, not for long.)
Well, I thought of this post because, for one thing, it’s hot as hell where I am right now, like nearly 100 degrees! And for another thing, something happened the other day, or I should say, the other day someone did something so incredibly malicious to me, that the only words my dad could use to characterize it when I went crying like a baby, was “my daughter, stop trying to understand evil. Just accept that it exists.” This person, with malice aforethought, did some shit that really shocked me to my core I have to say. I mean, I understand that people are sick. I basically gird myself to expect anything from human beings after a lifetime of body blows and maiming. But still, I was taken by surprise with this thing. It took my breath away. It really did. And yes, I cried. And I was sad. Very much. And still am. So I guess if that was the reaction this person was after, they won. At least, the first round.
But then, I thought about it in terms of relationships and divorce because I tend to do that; I tend to try to think of things, even the most mundane things, in the context of divorce. It’s a weird kind of therapy for me, this blog. And I’ve never even been divorced. And I wondered, well, I thought, “heck, these types of people who would do what this person did to me, they have relationships. They get married! They have spouses and children!” And then, I wondered what it would be like to be married to the type of person who can only be described as “evil.” What is it like to be married to evil?
Because I don’t think people turn off buttons. They can, at first. But eventually, the real person they are comes through. It’s like myself. I was never the good looking chick or the one with the booty or anything like that that the world views as beautiful or worthy. But I’ve always had my good character. I am a good person. I am honest. I am kind. I can’t turn off those buttons. In the end, that is what comes out of me. And that will be proven, ultimately….
And I think that is true for everyone. They are who they are. Nobody’s lies and malice can change who you are at your core. No amount of pretense can hide who a person truly is at their core. It comes out. The truth will always come out. And there is no perfect crime. Every criminal leaves a clue as to their identity. Keep that in mind…..
And so, when you are married to someone who is intrinsically evil, what is that like? Do you think about divorce? Or are you afraid even to get out of there? And how is that evil manifested? What does a person like this do to the people they are involved with? I can’t even imagine. My head can’t wrap itself around the scenarios. It’s too much work. I know that in my tenure as a divorce lawyer in New York, many eons ago, I’ve heard stories from clients about what their marriages were like. And it sounded like hell to me. It sounded like they were married to satan sometimes. And I wondered, “didn’t you know this about this person before you got married?” Because I believe people tell you who they are by their actions and they do it very early in the relationship.
If a man is a gentleman, you know. He won’t tell you with his words. But his actions, his behavior, will tell you. It is in what he does, and what he does not do, what he says and what he does not say that will tell you. Conversely, when a man is a pig, you will know as well. And I think that is true for evil people. They tell you who they are. Something they do, very early in the association, tells you who they are. I can’t think of what they would do. I just know it when I see it and when I hear it. But I don’t always listen. Sometimes, I make excuses for them. I tell myself, “you are being too sensitive; you are being too judgmental.” Invariably, though, I was right. You can look evil in the face and you get a bad feeling about someone, and you have to trust your gut. Never doubt your gut. That first instinct you get with someone. Don’t try to explain it away. And I think that a lot of people try to explain away what their gut tells them about a person. And then they get married. And they find out the hard way that they married evil. They married the devil. And the whole thing could have been avoided if they had just listened to their gut in the first place.
How do you get out of this marriage alive? Boy. That’s the thing, isn’t it? Getting in is easy. Getting out, not so much. I think you just have to make a run for it. You just have to get out of there. It doesn’t matter if all you have is the clothes on your back and nothing else. Get the hell out of there. That’s all I can tell you. Never try to understand evil or fight with it. Evil has no reason. Evil has no soul.