New York’s recently minted Jewess, Ivanka Trump, is getting a lot of flack because of her “conversion” to Judaism in order to marry billionaire real estate titan Jared Kushner, an Orthodox Jew who is said to “take his Jewishness very seriously.”
Now, in addition to being dubbed J-Vanka, folks are blatantly calling Ms. Trump a fraud for converting like she did. But I don’t know….indeed, I agree that a conversion to Orthodox Judaism from Christianity is a major switch. That is why I called her a “religious proselytizer” in an earlier post. But does that make her a fraud? Or is this girl doing her divorce calculus really, really well?
You see, extreme differences are one of the big reasons that couples’ marriages implode. Differences like religion, socio economic group (especially if the female is more affluent), race, education (especially if the female is more educated), ethnicity, world-view, sex, and so forth, are absolutely fatal to the longevity of a marriage.
There is a biblical admonition that I have quoted on this blog before, “be evenly yoked” and that works in any religion I would think. Obviously, it doesn’t mean a couple has to be a carbon copy of each other. But I think it does mean that to the extent there are differences between two people who love and care for each other that can be brought into congruence with the other, then those differences should be brought into congruence to protect the marital bond.
Like many women, I am sure Ivanka would not have converted like that for just any tommy, dicky and harry. No. She did it for Jared because he was worth it to her. They make a great match. Let’s face it. And all other things held equal, it is clear to me that she felt there was enough there to work with, that was workable, but there were some differences that were a bit out there that needed to be brought into congruence to give the marriage some added padding and protection, and to avoid divorce due to “irreconcilable differences.”
Obviously, some differences cannot be reconciled. But luckily for those two, religion is one of those things that can, if the parties are not too rigid. Jared, likewise could have converted to Christianity. But these big switches work better if the woman submits. I hate to sound Victorian but the facts are the facts and have not and will not change for centuries. A man needs to feel that to some extent, his woman has submitted to him. He has to feel like he’s the CEO in the marriage. And you know what? Secretly? I think women need to feel that too – that she has married a man who is man enough to be given the privilege of being her CEO. And it’s a missing ingredient in a lot of modern marriages. That is why so many are failing. Ivanka clearly understood this dynamic and so, even though she didn’t have to, even though she could have had her pick of so many eligible Gentile bachelors in New York, she converted to show her commitment, and to submit to her husband and to her marriage and relationship.
I see no fraud here. I see a smart woman. I see an intelligent wife who is doing the best she can under the circumstances to avoid a speedy, embarassing divorce. I see a strategist pulling out a preemptive strike to protect her interest in her investment of time making all those kosher dishes, investment of emotions, and everything else besides.
Now, if the marriage cracks up anyway? Don’t look at me. All I’m saying is that it wouldn’t be for lack of her doing everything she could to achieve congruence and even yoking to avoid the tragedy of a divorce.