Friendz, man. It takes you 30 years to learn to weed these parasites out of your life. It takes you 30 years to see that friends, some of them, are only around when the weather is fair. I remember I had a friend for years and it occurred to me that everytime we talked it was mostly about her. Which was fine. But I was always troubleshooting and solving problems and empathizing. Which is what I do, and it is fine. For the most part. But on the rare occasions that I needed empathy she always made me feel 1000% worse by saying something judgmental or superior. It got to the point that I found that with her out of my life, I coped fine, I lived well, I was happy, I had good jewelry. But with her in my life, I felt like all my jewelry came from a cracker jack box. When I turned 30, I dumped this friend. And I think I am a better woman for it. Mercifully, she never had to counsel me through a divorce. (Although, I counseled her!)
So, you and your divorce. What was your situation with that? Did you have friends to call and shoot the breeze and unwind and unload? Or maybe you had “mutual friendz” who felt they couldn’t pick sides and so they disappeared and wouldn’t return your phone calls? Or maybe to your absolute shock, your friendz took sides – the wrong side – and blamed you for a the whole implosion of your marriage.
That’s the thing with friendz, you never know which way they are going to swing. I think true friends will stand by you. But in the grand scheme of things, you probably have 1 friend for every 10 people who call themselves your friendz. But if you are over 30 you should have already cleaned house by now. You have. Haven’t you?