Should Elizabeth Edwards divorce John Edwards?

So, this is my third post on this and my last, I promise. But should Elizabeth then divorce John after what I said in the other two posts? Hme….I have always maintained that I don’t believe in divorce but that I accept it comes with the marriage these days; and that some marriages should end.

I also feel the decision of whether or not to get a divorce is such a personal decision. What one wife is willing to put up with, another would balk at. Besides, the political marriage is a special animal. Isn’t it? 

Elizabeth’s husband clearly exhibited very reckless behavior given that he could easily have won the presidency and then where would they be now once this came out with all the other distractions the country has to deal with? That is the cringe element for me. Not so much the adultery. That’s Elizabeth’s problem. It’s not my business. But this guy was running for president while he was engaged in this behavior and it is possible he broke the campaign finance laws. It is the brazenness of it. The recklessness that puzzles me.

It is not that I don’t think adultery is serious. It is. But is it a deal breaker necessarily? I don’t know. It depends. He was clearly insensitive in the timing of what he did. But she feels there is enough there that she can cut that one transgression out and move on. (I wonder how many other women he propositioned over the years who had to beat him off with a stick? Boy. This species….)

They have young kids together. She wants to work it out. And he seems to want to work it out. You know what? I think they should give it a courageous push. They should do everything possible to save the marriage and to cure him of his polygamous and hyper-sexed nature. Everybody deserves a second chance. Of course, if this is a pattern of behavior, then there could be serious underlying issues that no amount of therapy can solve. However, for now, I am sure he is very, very contrite.

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7 Responses to "Should Elizabeth Edwards divorce John Edwards?"

  1. Joy   August 11, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    I am relying on Elizabeth Edwards right now for inspiration, as I have caught my husband in a not-so-public affair, but I am calling on her grace and strength. I feel that the woman involved has some responsibility to keep her hands off someone who she knows is attached to someone else, and deserves the things I would like to do to this other woman. But I restrain. I came to Chapel Hill to educate myself beyond my redneck roots, but I did not forget the language, evidently. I just hope Liz got a truck full of flowers. The betrayal and lies are the worst part, as his parts are reusable but the trust is broken forever. I will never believe another word from his mouth, and hope his momentary thrill is worth the silence he gets now. I just cannot bear to have him touch me, knowing where he might have been. How can someone you loved treat you with such disregard? You still love the jerk, but you are no longer partners. You feel like an idiot because you stay, and I can’t even speak of the economics of divorcing him. Separating the family photos is the worst chore. Moving out would be easy! Staying friends is hard. The Edwards children are lovely, and should not be subjected to this sordid view, but it seems so easy when a new woman is flashing her view at you. She has no respect for other women, and selfishness of this order deserves shunning. She is inhuman to me. And he is weak. I would have felt honored to have him lead my country until he showed his true nature, and fell to temptation. How can we trust him if his wife cannot?

  2. Diane   August 24, 2009 at 5:54 am

    Funny how we look for guidance from those in similar situations. I, too, am in one like her. I battled breast cancer for the first time as she was learning of her relapse. My husband betrayed my trust while I was battling, and tried to make it my fault. At first, the deceit was financial, while I fought for my life, and we have two young boys at home. I had prayed hard for him to leave our lives, I was so angry after giving him 28 years of my life, and shocked that he could deceive and destroy what we had while I was so weak. But I took part of the blame for not seeing he was in trouble too, and took him back, only because the one thing he had always been unquestionable in was his love and loyalty to me.

    Now, three months into that reconciliation, in which he had only been gone three weeks, I’ve discovered on his computer, that he had signed up on an international marriage website and was communicating with some young hottie planning to be here just days before he came back home. AND had been chatting and arranging dates with woman locally. So much for the ONE REASON I was able to take him back. And now, I find disgusting pornography popping up on that same computer… another area he NEVER succumbed too until recently. I don’t know what happened to him. It’s like I don’t even know this person I took back in, but I don’t know how to get back out, or if I should confront him with all of it.. for just dust off the separation papers and my to do list from a few months ago and keep moving forward from there… any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated… He keeps me under so much stress with all of this that I’m afraid that alone is going to cause me to relapse…

    • admin   August 24, 2009 at 12:01 pm

      This is really a tough issue. I don’t know there is any one solution to this. But I would say that anything that exacerbates your health condition should be cut from your life. That would just be my take. But I am not going through this situation. I almost think only someone who’s been through this would know what to do. Still, my hat is off to you for being brave enough to give it another go. That must be tough. In a way, I think divorce is the easy part. Staying married under these tough conditions is the tough part. I admire anyone who can pull that off.

      Sante, Diane. Get better.

  3. Elle   September 19, 2009 at 11:30 pm

    To Diane and Joy,
    I wish you both the best in your recovery…
    Likely, your husbands have been cheating on you all along; it didn’t just happen as the result of your illness. We often see the signs but gloss over it because we cannot even imagine doing something like that. The women who go after married men are evil. Men keep doing it because they can find women without scruples and when their wives find out, they often can say, “I’m sorry” and come right back home. You both need to think about your health and you will be much more healthy without worrying about what he is or is not doing. Unload the jerks. Elizabeth Edwards should do so as well. She does not want that “evil woman” raising her children if and when she is gone. I say, cut the ties now and keep the kids away from their uncaring and insensitive father. If he could do that to Elizabeth, he doesn’t care any more for the children. He’s bad news all the way around.

  4. deb   October 3, 2009 at 12:44 am

    I think Elizabeth should divorce her subhuman worm of a husband if that will bring her some relief from this media circus and her abhorrent, cheating spouse. She deserves peace and privacy and he provides neither. The last straw had to be when it was revealed that he told his subhuman worm of a mistress that he would marry her after his wife died! I don’t have enough letters on my keyboard to fully express my fury at this man’s behavior. I’m sure his family and friends are very proud of him.

  5. Other Woman   January 29, 2010 at 11:26 pm

    Husband cheaters are one of two types: one time jobs who truly are bored or lonely or serial cheaters. Chances are, he is only stopping b/c you caught him. Chances are, he is still reaching out to others. Most likely there is more than one “other woman” over the years.

    Play his game. Catch him… trick the mistress into telling you more. Pay her to talk. There are two types of mistresses: one who wants to take your place and one that is just playing a game of pleasure. The former will help you as long as she feels safe enough to not look bad in his eyes. Pretend you are him on his cell and text her. She wants you to know… and most likely knows way more than you about his darker side. Ask his assistant. Get his cell records. He might do it at the office so following him around isn’t always the best way to catch him.

  6. Shelly   January 31, 2010 at 1:51 am

    Elizabeth should move forward. She is too ill to be dealing with that worm, and attorneys and court dates. She can do nothing, not even think about that less than human thing. She needs to see her doctor and those who love her, and let them help protect her. She can move into a nice hotel with room service and send him the bills. She can do more as his “WIFE” than a single female. When she is well and able to discover all she needs to know, she can always divorce him then. He does not need to be single. She can also sit in her home and let him pay, but not let him disturb her. She is weak not dumb.


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