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3 marriage deal breakers that should lead even the Pope to ok the divorce

You probably know better than most that marriage is tough because you are married and you are challenged on a daily basis with trying to keep it all together. Sometimes it gets so tough you even find yourself checking out divorce websites for tips about either marriage or divorce. For sure, you have to pick one and it is sometimes a tough choice.

I have probably shifted my position on marriage and divorce so many times in the short 3 months I’ve been blogging on Divorce Saloon in a concentrated way, that you have probably decided to ignore me when I share my views on marriage/divorce and just to read for the entertainment alone. I don’t blame you. I am definitely capricious and sometimes I am impulsive and I say things without thinking the issue all the way through, and then once I get the whole picture, it often means that, by necessity, I have to change my mind. Take my position on the Nadya Suleman case as an example. Did I do a full 180 degree change on that one? Or what?

Look, here’s the bottom line. I am a divorce attorney who believes very strongly in marriage. No matter what I say, half the time I say it because I am annoyed or I am being sarcastic, or I am playing devil’s advocate. But I don’t believe in marriage just for its sake. Anybody can get a marriage license and declare themselves to be married. But are they really?

To me, marriage is the ultimate partnership there is that is predicated on COMPATIBILITY, RESPECT, MUTUALITY OF AFFECTION, PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY, and TRUST. 

Any marriage that does not possess all six elements is not a marriage to me. I don’t care how long the couple have been together. I don’t care where they got married and who performed the ceremony. It is not a “marriage” in my book unless all of the above factors are present. Does that mean you should run out and get a divorce if your marriage does not fit my description? Of course not. Because what I consider a marriage may not be what you consider a marriage. What I consider a deal breaker may not be what you consider a deal breaker.

But there are 3 things that should be a deal breaker in any marriage, in my opinion.I would never change my mind about these three things, you can rest assured of that. What are the three things that should lead anyone, even the Pope to divorce their spouse?

1. Unprovoked and habitual violence (physical and verbal) against a spouse or child.

2. Invasion of privacy that shocks the conscience (example, secretly video-taping a spouse; using any type of secret surveillance on a spouse).

3. Adultery that rises to the level of depraved indifference for a spouse’s health, or emotional wellbeing.

What do you think about this list? Is it too short? What are the deal breakers for you? And what does “marriage” mean to you?

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