Jen Anniston triumphs at the Oscars with Brad and Angelina front and center: Did she love her ex husband too much? Will things work out with John Mayer?

Some women love their husbands and boyfriends too much. That can actually be a problem in the relationship that could lead to divorces and break-ups. And it could make it hard for them to learn to love themselves after the divorce, because once they get dumped by someone they love so much, they feel unlovable and unworthy, and they start to hate themselves and act in self-destructive ways–until another man comes by to validate them again.

I have always wondered if that was a problem of Jennifer Anniston’s. I mean, slightly? I don’t think she ever hated herself or anything like that. The girl stayed slim, she didn’t enter rehab, she never had a meltdown on Jimmy Kimmel Live. I think she is a very strong, confident woman. She was not “defined by her relationship” with Brad Pitt and she has handled that situation with great aplomb and I applaud her.

But that must have been TOUGH.  And I do think that she loved him a lot more than he loved her. This is a recipe for divorce. I honestly think that if a woman can’t fall for a man who loves her more? She should not get married because the marriage is not going to last. In other words, in any successful marriage, you will find that the man loves the woman just a little bit more than she loves him. But not too much more because then you have the other problem that his love annoys her and she is contemptuous of him and disrespectful of him. It’s a very delicate balance. But the man MUST love the woman just a little bit more for it to work. My grandmother told me this and that woman is 100% right.

Anyhoo. Jen Anniston. The actress was stunning in her Valentino gown as she presented the Oscar for Best Animation…. I was proud of her that she didn’t fumble and it seemed Brangelina found her jokes funny because they both had big smiles on their faces. So I am sure all’s well that ends well, blah blah blah….

Did she love Brad Pitt too much? I think so.  I think, as I said earlier, that can be a problem in a marriage and relationship — an imbalance of affection and/or love. And I think that was a problem in the marriage between those two. I could be wrong. Maybe she was just as lukewarm as he, which might explain why she never cracked up the way I would have after he went his merry way with Angelina. But if she did love him too much, she certainly wouldn’t be the first woman to be guilty of such a sin. I know I’ve committed that particular sin more than once. But it is such a painful penance that one has to pay for this transgression, isn’t it?  Yes, I know. Sometimes it’s not within our control….

But. So. At the Oscars last night, Jen Anniston debuted her new boyfriend John Mayer. The couple were very attractive together and things seemed to go down without any glitches – except of course that both Brad and Angelina LOST their bid for Oscar gold.  Angelina was up for Changeling and Brad for the Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Jen’s boyfriend, John Mayer is a very handsome guy and he does seem a lot tamer than when he was dating Jessica Simpson or even Jennifer Love Hewitt –for whom he wrote the song, “Your Body is a Wonderland.”  

I worry about Jen though. She seems all loved up with this guy, and he’s cute. But I am not so sure about him. I am not so sure that he’s “safe.” Jen probably doesn’t want “safe.” But she also doesn’t want to commit the cardinal sin of over-loving this man. It would be a mistake. And if they ever got married, which, the way Jen looks, that might be a real possibility, I think she has to guard against it even more, and play her cards more independently–like she can take it or leave it–and not in a needy or clingy way.

Not to say that Jen is needy or clingy. I have no idea how she is with her men. But it is to say that if she is even slightly needy or clingy, if she “over-loves” this guy, he is going to bolt just like Brad did.

And for any woman, I think this is basically true. We just can’t afford to love them too much. It’s a big, big mistake. Believe me.

Check out our Oscars posts here: http://www.divorcesaloon.com/index.php?s=oscars

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