Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, author of The Divorce Culture argues that “widespread divorce depletes social capital and that strong and durable family and social bonds generate certain goods and [“services”] including money, mutual assistance, information, care-giving, protection and sponsorship.” She goes on to state that “marriage may be a more important economic resource than a college degree.” Emphasis added.
Can you imagine? That marriage is a more important economic resource than a college degree? For whom? Both spouses? Or just wives — particularly trophy wives? You know, I strongly want to disagree with Ms. Dafoe on this issue, but I can’t. I can totally see why she would make that argument. It is not very “feministic” but it is true.
Years back, a friend of mine said to me, “why are you wasting time with trying to build a career? Just get married! You will achieve the things you want much, much quicker. You’ll have a house before you know it, without all this ridiculous struggle. What are you doing?” And I was really…I was very offended at the time. Because it was coming from a woman who was the same age as I was, we both went to college together and she had married, twice, and with each marriage her standard of living improved exponentially from the last one. She had everything. She had a home, a child, a husband; she ate exceptionally well, better than I did and all my single cronies; she didn’t work outside the home and inside the home, she had a “cleaning lady” who did the lion’s share of the house work; she dressed strictly in designer duds and even had money left over to send her five year old to private school. This without ever having to leave her mansion in the outskirts of New Jersey to brave winter cold, to deal with office politics and other minutiae, to struggle to find a place for herself in her chosen profession. She had it made. All she had to do was get married.
Looking back, I wonder whether pursuing all the “pieces of paper on my wall” wasn’t my economic undoing, and whether, as Ms. Dafoe and my old friend have suggested, that for a woman in particular, marriage is more valuable than a college (or other educational) degree. Because, at the end of the day, if you can’t afford the standard of living that you want with a college degree, but you can afford it by getting married, and getting other perks as detailed by Ms. Dafoe and by my friend, then why would any woman choose the route I took and choose the education over the husband?
Or is the point to get both? But sometimes it’s a problem. Sometimes too much education can wreck your marriage! Read this post: http://www.divorcesaloon.com/is-your-education-causing-your-divorceSign Up! Get Free Giveaways, New Ideas & Latest News Valid email for entry Thanks 🙂