Former NJ Net Jayson Williams hit with divorce papers by wife Tanya Young Williams. OMG!

Tanya Williams has filed for divorce from her husband Jayson Williams, the same husband she supported and stood by in 2004 when he was on trial for the manslaughter of his limo driver.

The divorce papers, according to the Post, are filed in Manhattan Supreme but I should divulge that I’ve checked the court’s dockets and I don’t see a filing in New York County. So I”m not sure what the Post is talking about?

The couple lives in New Jersey and North Carolina? So I am not sure what would be the basis of a Manhattan filing, as in order to file in Manhattan one or both parties need to be a resident of New York. But if the Post says it was filed in Manhattan, who am I to doubt it?

But. So. I have one thing to say with this latest divorce filing by wives of a sports star/celebrity/newsworthy person: PLEASE STOP AIRING YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY IN THIS MANNER. IT IS UGLY AND INAPPROPRIATE.

Why do I say that? Well, a slew of sports wives have come forward with some very disturbing allegations about their husbands lately, and you know what? I think in the end it is more damaging to the women than to the men. I mean, Art Shamsky’s wife, Dwayne Wade’s wife, now Jayson Williams’ wife.

They have revealed too much and I think it makes them look bad. I mean, the husbands are probably no good bums as the wives alleged. But you know what? I think the wives need to think about life after the divorce. And some things, even if true, should be left out of it. I mean, listen to what TMZ said that Jayson’s wife said in her divorce papers, which, by the way, were filed on Valentine’s Day — the “seventh anniversary of the day Jayson fatally shot his limo driver in his New Jersey mansion after a booze-fueled night spent entertaining a some Harlem Globetrotters and friends. It also comes a week after the New Jersey state Supreme Court heard the last pending legal issue before Jayson is retried on a manslaughter charge in the death of driver Costas “Gus” Christofi, 55.”

Before I give you the TMZ quote, I just want to say that I think that there are some things, even if true, are just too private for these wives to reveal to a gluttonous public. It’s not necessary to get into all the sordid details. You can make your case without going all public like that and creating this circus in which you are the star. This is your life! You have to return to your life after this is done, and people will always remember these things you said about your marriage. And it will be more of the woman’s burden than the man, because that’s just how society is structured right now. Divorce is largely a woman’s burden and loss. Read this post for more on that. http://www.divorcesaloon.com/when-a-woman-loses-a-husband-through-divorce check out these posts generally, http://www.divorcesaloon.com/index.php?s=when+a+woman+loses+a+husband

But. So. According to TMZ:

 Tanya Young Williams claims she’s the victim of “cruel and inhumane treatment” and that it’s unsafe to live with her hubby anymore.

In divorce papers filed today in New York City and obtained by TMZ, Tanya claims, among other things, Jayson faked suicide and stomach cancer, and told her he was “going down on white girls” (she’s Black).

Tanya also claims she found cocaine and condoms in Jayson’s drawer. She says he threatened to kill her and once threatened to break her neck while he allegedly sexually assaulted her. She also says Williams repeatedly refilled prescriptions for Cialis, even though they had limited sexual interaction.

And she claims he peed in the sink.

Jayson and Tanya have two children. I think they are girls, although I can’t be sure with names like Tryumph and Whizdom. I have to say those are good names. I remember my teaching years and one of my kindergarten kids’ name was Yermajesty. I kid you not. So Tryumph and Whizdom, I mean, I can handle it. I can totally handle it. What I can’t handle so readily are the allegations against Mr. Williams. 

The New York Post also weighed in on the story:

The 6-foot-9 ex-NBA player was slam dunked by his wife, Tanya Young Williams, tonight in a bombshell divorce suit that accuses him of physical and emotional abuse, family abandonment, adultery, and substance abuse, The Post has learned.

“Here is a guy who has spent wildly and dissipated marital assets and has, of course, acted reckless and been just absent, violent and not a father, not a husband,” said her lawyer, Malcolm Taub.
[snip]
“We’re alleging cruel and inhuman treatment,” said Taub, adding that Williams and his lawyers have ignored Tanya’s efforts to quietly end the marriage.

Taub said Jayson had caused “violent situations” in the marriage, including shattering car windows, rantings, and “instances of physical violence.”

The lawyer also alleged that Jayson bragged of having been with other women and that he’d abused alcohol and was found with cocaine in recent years.

The couple – which has been living apart, she in Manhattan, he in South Carolina – has two children, Tryumph, 6, and Whizdom, 4.

Well, I can say more, but I suspect I will be revisiting this story so I am not going to try to cram all I have to say in this one post and overwhelm you with all the details. This is just a teaser. The  main course will follow sometime in the coming week.

But the takeaway is that if Jayson did these things, then that marriage has understandably “irretrievably broken down” and I don’t blame Tanya for seeking a divorce. I’m just saying that if I were in her boat, I would have left out a few little sordid titbits.  Because it’s all people are going to focus on and it’s not going to win any extra points by way of equitable distribution, custody or whatever. It just feeds the prurient interest, but at her expense. Because she  is the woman. And if that sounds sexist, don’t shoot the messenger. Cause, I don’t make the rules. I mean, I don’t even like the rules. But it is what it is.

 

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