The Nanny Diaries part two: Divorcing? Have you been nice to your nanny?

See, girls, things can come back to haunt you and what goes around comes around. Especially with divorce, and especially with getting custody of your kids. That is why it so important that you have been nice, not naughty, to your nanny. Give her little gift bonuses sometimes. Like a nice pair of Manolo Blaniks that you’ve worn only once. I mean, after all, do you really need 206 pairs for yourself?

And whatever you do, don’t treat her like a glorified, mommy-dearest housekeeper. Respect your nanny. She could one day be your friend. Long gone are the days when the court will automatically give the kids to their mother. There’s a whole area of law now that involves “father’s rights.” There are boutique divorce practices where that is all they do. Handle “father’s rights” cases. And, of course, in order to be profitable, they are handling a lot of monied clients who can pay them big bucks. And you know what they say about money. It talks. And so, guys like say Ron Perelman (and he’s a billionaire so he’s even in a whole other leaque) and others (you know, like millionaires) are fighting their wives hard for, if not sole custody, joint custody. And they are winning.

I feel that certain people should start to plan for their divorce as soon as they get married. I know that sounds awful. And I apologize. But it’s true. If the stats about marriage are correct, then you know going in that you stand a good chance of getting divorced at some point. You are not going to grow old together. I would also say that a good predictor of whether you will grow old together is to answer this question: Do you have a prenup? If you have a prenup it should tip you off. Your marriage is probably not going to be forever. I don’t know why that is true. But I think it’s true. A prenup is a form of speech. It tells you what both people subconsciously know.

So, as soon as you get married, start to surround yourself with loyalists. Especially the nanny. But even the butler, the housekeeper, the gardner, everybody. There is no reason to be nasty to these folks. Some people are. They can be very mean to the hired help. Very condescending.

This is a mistake. Because you may need these people a few years down the road. Like now. If you are reading this, you’re probably thinking about a divorce. I don’t see why anybody other than a person interested in divorce information would come to a website called “divorce saloon.” I mean, my writing is not that good. You know?

So, have you been nice to the help? What will they tell the court about your parenting skills? Or about what they’ve heard your husband say or see him do? Their testimony could literally mean the difference between your kids living with you and you only getting to see them on weekends with a court appointed “supervisor.”

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