The Nanny Diaries Part one: Did your nanny steal your husband?

Regular foks have babysitters. Rich folks and society folks have “nannies.” I was never privy to exactly what differentiates a nanny from a babysitter to tell you the truth. After all, I’m a regular folk. But I suspect there are significant differences. Nanny sounds a bit more mature than a babysitter for one thing. It sounds like a more cultured position, as if this person is really performing on a career level, as opposed to just doing a part time gig to get some money like a babysitter might. A nanny sounds infinitely more sophisticated, educated, world traveled and chic than a babysitter any day. Wouldn’t you say? And what is her role?

Certainly, whatever it is, I’m going to go all out on a limb and say that (and, I mean, this is just a hunch but I  don’t think that) shagging your husband when you’re not around is included in her job description. Hme? So, what do you do when you find out the unthinkable? That the hired help has out-maneuvered you in the boudoir and literally taken over your life and its most important arm accoutrements? I mean, honestly, who is going to take you to those galas now?

Well, I can empathize. I can’t commiserate because I have never had the experience. But I can certainly empathize. It can’t be a great ego stroke when your husband takes up with the nanny for god’s sakes.

I mean, if your husband is going to leave you, he should at least trade up. No disrespect to nannies, but, I mean, let’s face it: You pay the woman! You are on a whole other level than she is. How can he do this to you? I’ll tell you how. That species can do anything to the very best among us. Shagging your nanny is no big whoop.

But of course the thought of her, you know, taking over your life is making you mental. What is that for crying out loud?  How does that work? What, she’s going to move into your Upper East Side triplex as soon as the ink is dry on the divorce judgment? She’s going to have kids with him and get her own nanny and relegate your kids to the maids’ quarters?  I mean, honestly, how is this scenario circumnavigated? 

Boy. This is just wrong. But legally, what is your game plan? What can you do? Well, fortunately, or unfortunately, the rules are the same no matter who the woman is, or what the reason is for the bust up of the marriage. If you are going to work it out, work it out. If you are going to get a lawyer to file for divorce, start thinking about gathering evidence and otherwise c-y-a.

But think about it. This is going to be weird for the kids. I mean, nanny is now Mommy. Nanny lives in daddy’s loft with daddy (or nanny and daddy got a place in Tribeca where the kids spend every Tuesday, Friday and Saturday.) What should they call her now? And you will have to see her and deal with her if this thing that’s going on with them goes anywhere. What do you call her?

Plus, what does she know about your parenting that could hurt you in a custody battle?  And is she good friends with the rest of the household staff? Will they mutiny? This may have an impact on the outcome in the divorce (and custody).

But the more important question is, who will walk the kids to ballet class and pick up their dry cleaning (I mean the kids’)? Now that nanny is gone? You know what? This is very stressful.

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