I don’t know what it is about the mothers of the husbands and wives who marry each other and finally come in seeking a divorce. But beneath the subtext of many busted up unions, is the lurking presence of a mother in law from hell.
She could be Asian, Indian, from the Caribbean, American, Puerto Rican, Jewish or Croatian. She could be Black, White, Pink or striped. She could be living on the same continent or not. The woman seems to still wield a ton of power over her fine boy (the wife’s mother is hardly ever that obnoxious!) and in some cases, she literally causes the marriage to combust.
It could be a visit to her place that does the trick. But usually, it’s when she comes into the wife’s home that things just fall irretrievably apart. Sometimes, she even wants to usurp your authority in your own home with your own children! As if, grandma knows what’s best for your own kids.
Some of these in law stories get so hairy, that the court is called upon to decide if gramps and grandma can even see the kids. Grandma does not seem to understand that the court cannot force you to let her see the grandkids if the relationship between you and she are so contentious and combustible, that any value the child derives from seeing her is obliterated by the harm the child suffers on account of the ongoing conflict. Can somebody clue her in?
What is it about these mother in laws? I mean, I don’t know first hand, I’ve never had one. At least, not officially. But I think maybe it comes down to, like, territorialness, possessiveness and jealousy. Both women vy for “control” of this man who whether consciously or subsconciously, spurs them on and keeps them at war because it makes him feel loved and powerful.
But a man who can’t stand up to his own mother, who can’t put a lid on her antics in defense of his wife, is pretty sad. I think. At some point, he has to be able to cut that umbilical cord. If he cannot, then the question then becomes how does this failure of his impact the quality of your life. If by failing to stand up to his mother and demand that she shows you some respect as the mistress of your own home he is causing you emotional anguish, then maybe you dont’ have a relationship with long term viability.
I am not going to say you should get a divorce for that reason. That’s your call. But I can say that it is not an issue I would personally be willing to put up with. Actually, if I ever got crazy enough to get married, the guy’s got to be an orphan. I’m just not prepared to deal with crazy mother in laws and their sons to boot.
And notice, the mother in laws who think you are not good enough for their precious boys, are themselves so deficient! And they did a terrible job in raising their son. That is why you are probably reading this post as a matter of fact. Because your mother in law did a terrible job of raising her son. eh?
Oh well. Next!
- Who would get custody of the octuplets if their parents divorced?
- VIENNA AUSTRIA: Mother fined for phoning son up to 49 times per day for 2 years
- Do Grandparents have the right to visit a child if the parents don’t like it?
- Debbie Rowe is not in line to get custody of Michael Jackson’s kids
- Wynona Judd admits she divorced husband due to his arrest for child sexual assault
- THE DIVORCED MAN’S MANIFESTO – filed in “Father’s Rights”
- Tori Spelling’s Mommywood and Candy Spelling’s Candyland: Is mother competing with daughter? And what about the grandkids?
- JAPAN: Supreme Court of Japan makes DVD about the impact of divorce on children. Should it be required viewing?
- AUSTRALIA: Should step-mom be called “mum”?
- The Mommy Track: How divorce redefines motherhood